I have a journal. I carry it around wherever I go and whenever I have a thought I think is worth noting, I simply write it down. Most of the time these thoughts don’t become something formal or something I would ever intend for public viewing, but there are the select entries that spark something inside me for more. More of this thought, a deeper look into this new idea, or even an old idea rediscovered. I have used this journal more of a therapeutic way to control the itch I have to write; to control what I thought was a simple hobby and nothing more.
I have always thought, if I’m going to write, then do it properly. Don’t dive head first into a pool of spontaneous ideas without making sure that I wasn’t going to hit my head on the bottom. I needed a plan or a guide, an idea that had some sort of solidity to ensure success. This miraculous outline for a piece of writing never actually came to me (what a surprise...), so I never ended up exploring those noted ideas.
It wasn’t until reading Writing to Learn by Donald M. Murray that I was given a fresh inspiration to simply do what I love; to write. As I read I felt the need to carelessly let my pen wander again, to take those ideas worth noting, and turn them into a piece to be personally proud of. I began to write again, and found myself awake at four in the morning writing everything that I was too afraid to write before. Murray quotes Donald Barthelme who said: “Write about what you’re most afraid of.” (2005, pg. 61) I feared the critiques of those who read my work, the vulnerability it would take to write what I was passionate about, and the chance that potentially writing just wasn’t my “thing”. It is beautiful, however, to be able to unravel these fears and take a truthful look at them. Graham Greene says, “The act of writing inspires me. I have no talent. It’s just a question of working, of being willing to put in the time... If one wants to write, one simply has to organize one’s life in a mass of little habits.” (2005, pg. 18) And I must say, I am willing to put in the time.
Heather,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what you mean about the fears of writing. All those feelings of what you need to achieve with your work and how you are going to say it and how many other people probably could say it better than you...it can take the fun out of the art.
I am happy that you have found a way to overcome these fears; they are something I am working on as well.
Maybe it goes back to that old quote "The only thing to fear is fear itself" [President Franklin Roosevelt].
So true. There are so many random things that go on throughout the day. So many that make me laugh, and want to hold on for the next time I need something to laugh at.
ReplyDeleteOr just things that people say, that have their own uniqueness and inspire so many possible pieces. In some ways it really is too bad that more people don't carry around notebooks and write down the random.