Constantly Critiquing

I have noticed lately that whenever I write I have the inclination to write for an audience. I think because I’ve been in school for fourteen years, I have always just assumed that my work was going to be graded and assessed accordingly. Even when I write for pleasure, I just always feel like I won’t be the only one reading it. Sometimes this is good; there have been times in the past where I have randomly shown someone something I’ve written, and because I write for an audience, usually I have braced myself for whatever critique that may come. I have been accustomed to peer editing because I’ve been forced to do it so many times. My writing is hindered because I am waiting to be judged. But like I said, there is good that comes along with this. But in retrospect, I feel like it has made me shelter my ideas and I’ve been cautious about the subjects that I write about, and how deep I really go. Peer editing is useful for so many reasons. But I think sometimes I need to write with the idea that this work is for my eyes and my eyes alone. When the idea of being judged becomes something that is always in the back of your mind, it starts to withers away your passion and love for freely writing.